Why I Stopped Faking the Employment Enjoyment

“You know I could ‘let you’ go pick up your son but he needs to understand that you have a job. You are either going to work or stay at home.” This is what I was told at my last job when I asked to work through lunch to leave early and get my son who would be stranded at school. “Make him figure out his own way home.” That sealed the deal for me on how I look at the environment I spend my time in away from my family and my passions. It was in that moment that the decision to stop faking the “Employment Enjoyment” became inherently strong in my bones. I didn’t want to be there; not when that was the attitude towards employees. So I made my exit plan, and left.

I faked the employment enjoyment so well. I’d walk in and smile waving all down the hall. “Good morning.” “I love your dress.” That part was genuine. The part I faked was actually wanting to be there. It was the place where my dreams had gone to die. And the environment was happy to see them smoulder.

Your Body Knows When It’s Time to Go

The weeks leading up to making my decision to quit, I was waking up with knots in my stomach in the middle of the night. My body was rejecting what was to come. It was screaming at me, letting me know, this isn’t your place, sis. These aren’t your people. This is not your life’s work. It was good work and good pay; I loved what I did. Each day I was dragging through the door. enough energy to check in with the kids to see how their day was. Exhaustion wasn’t the word. The gaps with my children weren’t being filled, unfortunately, there just wasn’t enough putty for the walls. I hope you get what I mean.

The “day to day” living began to look as a leaky boat full of holes. It was a leakin’ and I was a sinkin’. How was this me living a life full of purpose. What will all of this exhaustion mean if I hadn’t properly nourished my family and pursued my passions. Playing it safe was keeping me from the very thing that I needed to propel me forward. Hands up. Can’t breathe.

Experiencing True Employment Enjoyment

My life’s mission is to nurture relationships and situations that feed me. I desire to be in an environment where I return those actions in kind. Last week, I saw the YouTube video of the teacher resigning from her job because of the environment she was in. People really believe they can treat you however they please and your are required to stay. When I watched her, I teared up and wished her well. I just imagine her going through what I went through when I finally decided to choose myself first. Moving to a place where my soul is free and fed has always been the goal. Experience true employment enjoyment if you are able. And like the lady says in the video, “walk away when you should.”